Conversations with Conscience.

hello!

i was in town a few days ago to accmpany my aussie friend settle her 3-months visa.we had fun arguing.

"Shut up!"
"No, YOU shut up!"

so anyway now I'M back for a FEW days (nyehehe) in town to settle my visa. Pahang very near u know? only about 3 hrs away minus immigration queue blah.

anyway. as u all now. this semester i'm in the tourism faculty. attachment at a beach chalet in pahang for a few months. the place is alright. watching the sunrise every morn while hearin the tide is so out-of-this-world. pelbagai rasa bercampur-baur.positif dan negatif. masya-Allah.

so the 2 new aussie girls are in the same faculty as me this sem. we get along great since the beginning, but i must say we werent quite of the same wavelength. oh, u know me, Miss Enthusisatic and Miss Excitement, and the aussie gurls were so mellow at first that it almost freaked me out. frm this i see the jarring diff in terms of culture altho we both come frm english-speaking countries. very-enthusiastic-esp-when-it comes-to-knowledge culture versus very-mellow-and-let's-sit-around-and-munch-on-twisties-first culture. hahaha. i bet they'll smack me for streotyping them aussies. but they're getting used to me pissin them off by doing that sometimes. but the aussie seniors are nothing like that of course. schooling in m'sia for 3 yrs has made them really rajin and proactive and stuff. no, i'm not saying u aussies are lazy...just...mellow.laid-back. but anyway we're all very close now.

but that's exactly why it's exciting to be in Mawaddah. mix+clash of cultures and we all have to tolerate with each other's culture's flaws. hahaha!

me: "Hey, u have quite a malay tongue." (i meant to say 'tastebuds' actually.as in they too like malaysian food.)
aussie: "I AM malay,Aini!" (oh yeah i rmmbered they're frm kokos island in aussie, where the malay aussies dwell.HAHAHA what an expression.)
me: "But u don't even speak Malay properly!"
aussie: "What. Ever."

so there u go. my 16-yr-old Australian friend tried kangkong for the first time late last night .she watched the plate of kangkong mysteriously,tasted abit, and finally said that it was too strong for her. so kental. eat sambal blachan but don't eat kangkong.

me: "eh, ni sedap lah! ugghh. u.are. such.a.tourist. all u need now is a camera slung around ur neck, Fads."
Fads: "oh, and,and a hat, and, and a flower garland around my neck."

i meant to offend her but she ended up laughing along with me. sedar lah tu diri kental.

so do you want to know how i've been? i msged yati and madds once and they said things in s'pore are gettin stale and things are "not so peachy" for them.

as for me.
Besides the fact that my life has taken a 360 degree turn, i must say, my goals and view about life and God especially have been much more focused and...scrutinized? as in...my goals have been...diperhalusi.

does anyone know the meaning of 'ilmu and hikmah'?
ilmu is ilmu, and hikmah is ilmu DALAM ilmu.
as in, knowledge within that knowledge. geddit? going deeper than the surface.

it involves ilmu-ilmu rasa,ilmu-ilmu seni, i.e; knowledge that is intangible, explicit, abstract.
u see, ilmu and hikmah must co-exist, always, or else that ilmu will merely be an ilmu and take you no further than that.
a piece of information itself is ilmu, u see.
i'll explain to u how this is even significant.

for example. u learn something new. okay let's take something simple as an example. u learn something new...about yourself. you find something new about yourself as a result of watching the people around u.and how is that?
for e.g, u get especially pissed by watching how this person makes a mistake, or has this negative quality in him or her. if u apply 'hikmah' with the new knowledge that u just found in that person(--the knowledge that he or she has this negative quality) u will see that the reason u're especially pissed off is because that person's negative quality exists in u. i remember someone telling me ,"Selalunya bila kita lihat keburukan seseorang tu, ia sebenarnya mencerminkan diri kita." so it's about analysing with your heart; scrutinizing what u see.

some of u might think that this is still subjective. as for me, it IS true because i tried reflecting this matter in dozens of situations. like when we're doing a piece of work, a friend decides to be such an escapist just because she is undergoing some kind of stress. she escapes.....from reality,from her responsibility, from being present, from contributing. being cowardly. i get upset and disappointed, but i decide to take in a breather and reflect why God decided to show me that person showing such attitude right before me eyes.

and yes, after taking a moment to search myself, that person's negative quality does exist in me. it so so sooo does. God wants me to see for myself how destructive it can be if i go on having that negative quality that i have in me--escapism,that is; destructive in a way that will pecahkan kasih sayang among friends, and how,if i continue being that way, Courage will finally run away from me cos i keep running away frm it when it has always offered me its hand in times of trial and hardship.

u see, my friends, God tegurs us in ways that are so abstract. God wants us to constantly baiki diri so that it is easier for us to get closer to Him, bit by bit. He gives us teguran little by little, but if we fail to open our eyes and fail to finally see with the vision of our heart, He will give other forms of teguran that will smack us back to reality regarding ourselves. if we still refuse to see our mistakes+weaknesses, then in the long run, "happiness" will lose its true definition in our kamus hidup. because happiness has to start frm within. duh.

it's all about analysing simple everyday situations using the vision of your heart. and that's when hikmah--knowledge that is more abstact,knowledge within knowledge--is pushed into your heart by God. do u see it? cantik kan?

" Pandangan hati yang bersih itu lebih tajam dari pandangan mata lahir."

perhaps u won't agree with me now, but i bet u will one day. trust me.

afterthought:- God said in the Holy Book :"He who truly knows himself knows his God." Cos when Man knows his inner self, he then knows the True Essence within him. and that's when Man is being taken to new heights, in more ways than one.

so this is what i can share so far as a result of my escapades. no wonder travelling is sunnat. u learn a million and one things at once just by travelling.

" Orang yang jiwanya halus itu
apa yang dilihat mengusik perasaannya,
orang yang berjiwa kasar
benda yang dilihat macam tidak dilihatnya. "

'Wahai remaja, kenalilah diri mu melalui rasa hatimu...!'

love,
nuraini.
::Reality is NOT according to the perceiver::

::BisikanKalbuku:: 7:02 pm