Conversations with Conscience.

nuraini.

20.

highly mobile & travels a lot.

has a knack of playing mind games.

Solemnly united with Md.'Athoullah At-Tamimi on 090507.

A Rebirth; a new life-with Him.

Her strife towards becoming an Alpha Female.

hush; and listen to your conscience.

See it in a new colour, hear it in a new music, every moment, every moment ;

utter a different language, smell a new fragrance, taste an unfarmiliar flavour...

every minute, every minute, is something new.

See the world as it is, because it then assumes a new complexion.

Because

simple explanations and dry rationalism fails us most of the time. Be amused, be critical.

So hush, listen to yourself;

listen intently to your thoughts.

Then, and only then,

can you be brave enough

to understand.

Understand yourself first, and then everything else will fall into place.

Nice beefs.

:: Nuraini's Disappearing Acts: A Photo Album :)


:: Oprah Winfrey Yay


:: The Ellen DeGeneres Show


:: Artistique Photografie: Magnum Photos.com


:: Hearin one side to the issue: Newsweek Magazine.com


:: Akademi Seni & Budaya Mawaddah


:: Milahtants site


::Strife towards becoming an Alpha Female I -Martha Stewart.com


::Strife towards becoming an Alpha Female II -Jamie Oliver.com


::Strife towards becoming an Alpha Female III -Food Network.com


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Jayi - Yara

Tell me your secrets, ask me your questions...


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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

and so she finally speaks after quite some time.

did u miss me? i did.

so part of the reason i haven't been posting anything is, just, because. but believe me, all your blogs have never failed to amuse me and crack me up.

i've been keeping quiet and keeping to myself lately. just because. it sometimes amazes me at how much i always have so much to say in the past, yak yak yak yak. and i never got tired. so this time, i shall talk much less, obeserve more and listen more.

it scares me at how much life has to offer me- so much, in such a short time. it scares me how much my perception of things have to change because of what life has to offer for me so so fast. everything that i go through now has to be thought of and felt in a higher dimension. because i want my heart to be quicker than my mind; not in order for me to be emotional person, but cuz my mind has failed me many times, anyway. i want to delve into the inner-depths of my own emotion in order for me to capture the Essence of everything that exists. everything is more than what they really seem. i want to truly understand myself. berperasaan yang tepat.

God grants me so many gifts, i'm just afraid i won't be able to repay his kindness in time. but then again, what AM i thinking?! God grants me gifts not because he expects anything in return. He does not need anything in return. He does not need me. I need Him. and at the thought of this, i weep. i feel guilty that people love me so much, and pray for me so hard and am terrified sometimes that i don't love them or pray for them just as much.

i feel guilty that people around me love me, i feel guilty that my juniors look up to me. i feel guilty that people expect a lot from me. i'm not sure if this guilt is a good thing. perhaps it is.

i have been forewarned cus i have taken a glimpse into the harsh adult world. politics; that's what that brings out the worst in people. but in order to self-cognize, all the bad stuff inside you have to be dug out, innit? kalau tak, mcm mana nk jdi baik?! i shake my head and sigh silently observing the harsh things in life. but i'm just afraid i will analyse wrongly what i see around me. so will these things that anticipate me in my adult world bring me backwards; hesitant? or will i take long strides forward with the knowledge that they don't deserve my fear?

Aku tidak ingin tertipu dengan perasaan ku sendiri
Kerana ku belum pandai berperasaan yang tepat
Wahai Pemilik segala Perasaan, bantu lah
Kalau aku berperasaan yg tepat pun, sedarkan lah
bahawa ia bukan milikku.

i should, in fact, be more self-aware of how much i've learnt in such a short time; how much life has taught me. i do not wish to let the evntful events just pass me by.

:: i am ready for Love; i'd quickly give my freedom to be held in Your captivity. ::


::BisikanKalbuku:: 7:44 pm